Christmas is almost here. Just a few days away. Today I was overwhelmed by the thoughts and memories of last year's Christmas. This time last year Briston and I were in a very dark situation. I think back and I can only thank God for bringing us to where we are now. What a difference!!!
I think back to last year and I realize that although I loved very much and had lots of hope for the relationship I was in with all my heart, my love alone was not enough for that relationship. I realized today that the problem was NOT that I did not love enough or did not love him enough (because Lord only knows how my heart aches for him), the problem was that my relationship with God was not strong and his relationship with God was non-existent. We did not have the peace, joy, comfort, and love that ONLY God can give us.
This year I am just in awe with the overwhelming feeling of peace, joy, and happiness that only God can give me. It is finally true love that I feel from God. I have searched for so many years to feel truly loved and I was looking in all the wrong places and in all the wrong people. God loves me for who I am. It's so different than being loved for what you can give, what you have, or what you look like. God takes me for who I am, what I am, with all the mistakes I have made, no matter what I look like, no matter what I give or don't give, etc. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! Wow.....
I do realize that God has created us to love each other in the same way - with unconditional love. I say this because I have loved unconditionally. Last year I was loving someone unconditionally. So I know that it is possible and I know that God can bring two people together to love each other unconditionally. BUT, I have learned now that you must first receive and live by God's unconditional love so that you can then receive a person's unconditional love - cause if not you just won't understand or get it!! Unfortunately, the person that I loved unconditionally never understood it or got it! It makes me very sad, but I know in my heart that God will bless me and Briston - big time - with someone that will love us unconditionally one day soon. To love us no matter what we have, what we give, or what we look like. All of us loving God together and experiencing God's unconditional love.
Lord thank you so much for bringing Briston and I to where we are now - in your peace, comfort, and happiness. Your light has given us hope and joy. Thank you for rescuing us from the darkenss and bringing us into the light of your love and grace. In Jesus' name - AMEN.
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